Bob and I headed out to Blackhawk & Central City for some gambling and to check out the towns. My friend tipped me off that the Ameristar casino is smoke-free so we went there.

Our first stop was the all you can eat buffet. They had soooo much food: Mexican, Chinese, Pizza, breakfast station, dessert bar, fried/ southern food station, salad bar, soups. You name it, it was there. Bob went with a Mexican theme.

I had a few spoonfuls of various potatoes, soup, mac n cheese and honey chicken. I saved most of the room in my belly for the dessert bar. The dessert bar had small 6″ plates next to it. I wandered over to the main food stations and grabbed a full-sized plate. I’m no fool.

My plate contained one of each: lemon square, brownie, apple cobbler, Mint truffle oreo, chocolate dipped donut hole, oreo cheesecake & vanilla ice cream.

For the record, I didn’t eat all of it. Only a bite of each (except the ice cream) so I wasn’t a complete pig.

Once we were sufficiently stuffed we headed out to gamble with a limit of $20 each. I started playing the quarter slots and liked the Wheel of Fortune game. At one point I was up $6 and wanted to quit so I would come out ahead. As you can tell, I’m quite the risk-taker.

Bob suggested we play some Blackjack with a minimum $15 bet. Within a few hands he was up to $100! I started playing Blackjack with his guidance and we walked away with $282 at the end of the day. This has me seriously considering quitting my job and gambling full-time. Where else could I make $282/ hour?

For all of you single fellas out there, casinos are swarming with single women. If you like ladies age 60+ with oxygen tanks, bedazzled T-shirts and sea foam green pants, casinos are a goldmine for you.

The town of Blackhawk was really cute. Despite a lot of the casinos being newer, they kept with the old traditional style of the original mining town.

The town bordering Blackhawk is called Central City and it also kept with the small Western town feel and it is also a gaming town.

It was so much fun and I can’t wait to take my parents there to spend their money when they visit in a few weeks!

And now for a lame pop culture joke:

Q: How to you make Lady Gaga wake up?

A: Poker Face.

The US Census folks mailed us a packet of questions at the beginning of the year and I had to fill out the entire packet or face penalty of the law. I was bored with the forms and I figured the folks reading the info would be bored as well, so I offered up some truth.

In the question below, I was obviously making fun of my fashion sense.

The question below was about Bob’s inability to do chores.

You’re welcome, bored US Census reader!

As a kid, did you take a flying leap onto your bed so monsters couldn’t grab your ankles and pull you under the bed? You did it last week, didn’t you? It’s OK, I don’t think you’re crazy. In fact, I’m here to tell you those monsters do exist and I have proof. A little monster reaches up into the crack between the mattress and headboard every week and grabs my hair, slowly trying to pull me under the bed to the monster’s cave of doom. It’s real, ya’ll.

Paco grabbing Jen’s hair from Bob Spryn on Vimeo.

Sorry for the lack of posting, Debbie. I had a scheduled trip back to Rochester last weekend to visit my friends new baby girl, Mikayla. I spent a quick 24 hours in Rochester before diverting to Grove City, PA for a funeral. If you haven’t been to PA, the hustle and bustle of that place can be… under-whelming.

Ever wonder what to do to entertain yourselves at a Super 8 hotel? Start planking! Bob chose to plank directly on me.

Then my dad got in on the fad. Although the official planking technique calls for hands at your sides, I’ll let that slide and still call this planking.

Mom bought mini bottles of sparking wine and I believe the label actually said “redneck” on it. If you desperately need a bottle opener in a hotel room use the door. My mom knows all of the good tricks.

Be careful though because it could spray everywhere and make the bathroom a sticky mess. Not that we would know firsthand.

This concludes a post on how to entertain yourself in a hotel in the middle of nowhere.

My friends Christy and Tim welcomed their first baby last week! They didn’t find out the gender and they didn’t share names with anybody so we were all surprised. I think about 95% of people surveyed thought they were having a boy, including myself. The day she was in labor I had a change of heart and switched my vote to a girl.

Christy was in labor on Ash Wednesday and despite having better things to do, she mocked me. In high school I had no idea what Ash Wednesday was and felt the need to point out the dirt on a classmates forehead. While in the hospital, Christy sent this message:

Mikayla Elizabeth was born later that night and she is so beautiful! I’ve seen a few photos so far and she’s smirking contently in almost all of them.

I can’t wait to meet her and snuggle her! Congratulations, Christy & Tim!