Coda, Wellesley, and Paco

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep, I asked Bob to sing me a song so he “wrote” one for me on the spot.

Bob: I eat spoons. They’re made of metal. I eat SPOOOONS they’re made of metal. I eat SPOOOOOOOONS!

Me: You don’t eat metal, You’re not a goat.

Bob: Baaa! ram you! (while head butting me.) Goats ram things so they should have been called rams. But I guess the name ‘ram’ was already taken so they were named goats.

Me: Goodnight.

Baa ram you!

Slightly before 6am yesterday morning I let the dogs outside to do their business before I left for work. Within moments Wellesley was trotting back to the sliding glass door, tail waggin’ with a mouthful of…rabbit.

I yelled for him to drop it and that is when I knew the rabbit, who I named Stewey, wasn’t dead yet. Wellesley isn’t the brightest crayon in the box so it is no wonder he didn’t have the natural instinct to shake Stewey to break his neck to put him out of his misery. Coda caught many rabbits when he lived in NY and he was a pro. Wells dropped the rabbit on the step outside the door and Coda, proud big brother that is, started wagging his stub of a tail as if he caught Stewey himself.

I hate to see an animal suffering but I also couldn’t bring myself to put him out of his misery so I did what any girl would do. I woke my husband up and told him to deal with it.

Bob dragged both dogs to the bathroom to wash their faces off, and I promptly left for work. Bob said by the time he finished bathing the dogs, the rabbit had passed away on its own time, so he threw it into the field behind out house so coyotes or hawks could feast.

Now the Easter Bunny police are after Wellesley for rabbit-slaughter so I’ve enrolled him in the witness protection program. They’ll never find him. Her.

We let Coda in on the secret of his undercover brother and he was shocked and appalled. “You mean I’m kissing my BROTHER?! Gross!”

The dry Denver air has not been kind to my epidermis. Bob complains about the Alba face lotion I use after I shower. He claims it “smells like feet” but I would like to know whose feet he’s smelling because I find it mildly delightful. When he whines about the smell I give him 2 options: Deal with it, or I can forego the face lotion and look like I’m 50 years old before I turn 30.

He lets me keep “foot face” which in turn prevents my foot from meeting his face. Then he goes on to mock my Turbie Twist towel by calling me Aunt Jemima.

Through the fantastic Pinterest site I found many DIY body scrubs to try using ingredients in my pantry. My mom was the first person to tell me about using sugar to exfoliate. After we rolled peanut butter cookies in a bowl of sugar, I didn’t just ditch the sugar. No, sirree. I poured it into my hands and scrubbed away!

To make my own body scrub I used:

1/2 C white sugar

1/2 C brown sugar

1 Tbsp Veggie oil (or olive oil)

1 Tsp Vanilla

1 empty, clean jar

Pay close attention so you don’t mess this part up: mix it all together. Can you handle that?

That is all! These would make great gifts for the holidays or if you’re too cheap to spend more than 20 cents a person on ingredients.

I couldn’t wait to shower after I made the scrub. I shed an entire layer of skin like a chameleon and I smelled like I had just rolled in a vat of cookies. Maybe I really DID roll around in cookies. I’ll never tell and I don’t judge.

In response to: Pride

hahahahaha from Bob Spryn on Vimeo.

Bob quit his job and is working on forming a company with some of his friends. Since he no longer drives into an office every day, he has saved 40 minutes worth of a commute.

I felt the urge to offer suggestions for how to fill that extra 40 minutes a day: make the bed, empty the dishwasher, do some dishes, dust, vacuum… you get the point.

When I got home from work yesterday he was full of pride!

Bob: I washed the coffee press and I put my plate from lunch in the dishwasher. Aren’t you proud of me?

Me: Wow, you put a whole plate in the dishwasher? Also, when you washed the coffee press you set it on top of all of the dishes that were already dried in the strainer so now we have to wait for those to air dry again. Next time, empty the strainer first.

Bob: But aren’t you proud of me?

Ok, ok. I am so proud of you for putting a plate in the dishwasher. I’ll have some gold stars ready for next time! I appreciate the effort.

<3